So a mini emergency is going on in my house. I have run out of ketchup. Well a slight lie, I think there may be 2 portions left. This is not good. I need ketchup. Like some people need caffeine; a chip or wedge or scrambled egg or pizza is NOT the same without a good dollop of tommy ketchup. It is just bare & boring. Imagine a world without ketchup. It’s not worth thinking about is it? I think I may have nightmares. Please send ketchup*. Pleeeaasssseeee….

* I’m not a snob- any ketchup will do, I don’t need Heinz. In fact that cheaply stuff you get at ikea or a burger van is just as welcome. As long as it is red and ketchupy. Though I don’t like chilli flavoured ones. Barbeque sauce is good but in small quantities. But it is not ketchup, ok?

Excuse me while I hyperventilate.

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